TEN BEST CADDY REPLIES

#10 Golfer: "I think I am going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

#9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

#8 Golfer: "Do you think that my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

#7 Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually!"

#6 Golfer: "You got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

#5 Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time."
Caddy: "It's not a watch, it is a compass."

#4 Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally I prefer golf."

#3 Golfer: "Do you think it is a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it is a sin on any day."

#2 Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

#1 Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it is too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir

Best Comeback Line

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...
Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"
A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."
Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir, we do!"
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
A: "Yes sir, I do."
Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."
The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" Line -- I think he'll win.

Video - Craig and Sasha

When I was recording my first CD, I found a young girl who played fabulous violin. Sasha was still in high school when I heard her play and asked her to play on two of the songs on my CD and she did so perfectly. You can the songs at my website click here listen to Sashay on Down and Last Times, Last Storm from the MP3s Info on the left banner. Enjoy and thanks again Sasha, wherever you.

The list of failures continues to increase

Bombay & Co. Circuit City, Home Depot’s Expo Design Center, KB Toys, Steve and Barry’s, National Wholesale Liquidators, Linens ‘n Things and now Fortunoff’s, the 87 year old local jewelry and department store in NY. And these are only the big names. I try to look at the economic data dispassionately; we tend to ignore the real world stories beneath much of the headlines. It never hurts to recall every now and again that there are real human tragedies occurring in the economic maelstrom . . .

Retracement

Technically, 7,470 in the DJIA is the 50% retracement of the entire bull market that began in August 1982. At 7,100, we not only cut in half the October 2007 highs of 14,198.50, but we have given back 50% of the 27 year move from the start of the big bull market of the 1980s to yesterday. In addition to a 50% retracement in the DJIA from the 1982, we have also seen a 50% retracement of the move from 1932 low to the all-time high in 2007. 50% retracement of 41 - 14,164 = 7,103. Yesterday’s close was 7,115.

Academy Awards Highlight: Jerry Lewis

Easy for me . . . . Jerry Lewis receiving the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award. Who has done more for humanity than Jerry Lewis? He has helped raise billions of dollars for Muscular Dystrophy over the years. And he raised the bar for comedians along the way too.

The Alaskan King Crab Leg Indicator

Is this delectable seafood a test of the retail market for seafood? I decided that before watching the Oscars tonight, I'd drop by the local Ralph's Grocery Store to get some crab legs and have a nice dinner in front of the TV with some friends. Problem is they don't sell crab legs at the Ralph's near me. Why? They are too expensive for the store to speculate on . . . . that's right, the manager told me they used to stock crab legs up until about a week ago but they just went to waste as no one was willing to spend $20/lb for them. Is this a tell on the state of the economy? I think it is.

Golf Density - per capita players

Britain and Ireland have about 3,000 regular courses and 1.5 million affiliated players. Scotland has more golf courses per capita than any other country in the world, with about 9,000 people for each of its 550 courses. Ireland is second in Europe, with one course for about every 14,000 people, according to data compiled by Golf Digest magazine.

On the road to fuel efficiency . . . .

I just found out what happened.

In the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007, Congress allocated $25 billion to "reequipping, expanding, or establishing manufacturing facilities in the United States to produce qualifying advanced technology vehicles or qualifying components." However, all of the $25 billion was subsequently relocated to provide bridge loans to the auto industry as part of their bailout announced on Nov. 20, 2008.

Video - Dave and Craig playing music

A few years ago, when I lived in Sacramento, I put on songwriter showcases for an group called Songsalive. During one of the shows, Dave Baldwin and I opened the show.

Clawing Back - it's time has come

Make bankers are accountable for the mess! They got rich HIDING RISK and put INNOCENT people in this mess. Join the "two horsemen" (Nouriel and Nassim) in extracting justice for the small guy.

At Davos 2009, one of the 2 horsemen was quoted as saying that people like Robert Rubin, who received over $100 million serving as chairman of New York-based Citigroup Inc.'s executive committee, need to be punished for their failure to understand the risks their institutions were taking. He said that unless Rubin and others like him are made to mandatorily return their bonuses or are given some other punishment, the system that regrettably emerges is one "in which it’s the worst of capitalism and socialism, a situation in which profits were privatized and losses were socialized. We taxpayers have the worst. This will stand as the biggest government-sponsored scam in history".

Bankers are way ahead; they MISPREPRESENTED their risks; the small guy is paying the price.

We cannot live in a society without accountability.

Note: Obama is "reducing" future bonuses after the recent scandal (they used the bailout money to pay themselves). This is outrageously insufficient. We need PAST bonuses to be returned to society --so we stop the cycle of moral hazard.

[Note: there are laws that make IRRESPONSIBLE persons in corporations liable for their sins against the public.]

[Note: the only country that clawed back bonuses so far is Switzerland, though by social pressure --the mechanism is certainly easy to implement].

Do you have an tax deferred annuity? Is it safe?

How Safe is an Annuity?

Your tax-deferred annuity is safe. A qualified legal reserve life insurance company is required to meet its contractual obligations to you. These reserves must, at all times, be equal to the withdrawal value of your annuity policy. In addition to reserves, state law also requires certain levels of capital and surplus to further increase policyholder protection. Legal reserve refers to the strict financial requirements that must be met by an insurance company to protect the money paid in by all policyholders. These reserves must be at all times, equal to the withdrawal value (principal plus interest less early withdrawal fees, if any) of every annuity policy. State insurance laws also require that a life insurance company must maintain certain minimum levels of capital and surplus, which provide additional policyholder protection.

Video - Tim Conway

Is there anyone more hilarious to watch than Tim Conway? Yes, Harvey Korman when he's in a skit with Tim Conway.

Breast Cancer prevention and reseacrch

The Love/Avon Army of Women offers a revolutionary new opportunity for YOU to partner with research scientists to move us beyond a cure.

Breast cancer has been around for decades, but it does not have to be our future. We can be the generation that eliminates breast cancer by identifying what causes this disease and stopping it before it starts. Sign up for your sister, mother, daughter, granddaughter, best friend, and the woman you met last week.

click here

Reducing Bloated Government

In a recently posted letter to the editor in my local newspaper, the writer says, "requiring multiple signatures for a decision is at the heart of "red tape". Only the last signature, the one who will take responsibility, is necessary. We could reduce government payroll and make government services more efficient if we used this test to get rid of managers."

Amen, we do have too many layers of management in government . . . . and don't get me going on public school administration!

How money gets transferred

"It is the markets’ job to reallocate money from the ignorant to the intelligent, from the lazy to the hard working and studious; from the naive to the educated, and from the speculator to the investor."

Barry Ritholz . . the big picture blog

Video - How one golf hole can ruin your day

Last year on the PGA Tour Dudley Hart was leading a tournament and then it all ended with this disastrous performance on one hole.

Video - Valentine's Day

Video - B2 Bomber over the Rose Parade 2009

During the Rose Parade there was a fly over by one of two B2 bombers of the USA. It was pretty spectacular and quiet!

Not the right spirit but who's surprised?

During a decade in Congress, California Representative Grace Napolitano has pocketed more than $200,000 of political contributions by charging as much as 18 percent interest on money she loaned to her own campaign.

The suburban Los Angeles Democrat made the $150,000 loan in 1998, when she was first elected to the U.S. House of Representatives. Through Dec. 31, her campaign committee has used donations to pay Napolitano $221,780 of interest while reducing the principal by just $64,727, a review of her Federal Election Commission filings shows.

The inauguration like you've never seen it before

This is a remarkable panorama of the inauguration. You can actually focus in on faces near the back of the crowd - nearly 1/2 mile away!

The control for the picture is in the upper left. Press the + sign to zoom in, or arrows to move right, left, up or down. If the picture is fuzzy, give it a second to clarify. The technology is truly amazing, and it's un-classified! Imagine what spy agencies can see with classified technology! Grab the photo to move left, right, up down.

Take note Obama (center stage) and then look behind him. There's Clarence Thomas, Dick Cheney in his wheelchair, Clinton, Gore, Bush and even the pathetic simpleton Dan Quayle! Justice Scalia is present. The clarity is amazing!

click here

Trading and Surfing

Trading is as exciting and difficult as any singular activity that I have attempted to master. I think a comparison to another activity I’ve mastered would serve to illustrate some interesting points. I love to surf as much as I love to trade. Surfing requires you to learn technical skills that must be mastered in order to perform well, have fun and be successful against “Mother Nature” (read - the unknowable future activity of the market) as does trading. Each activity requires you to have good tools so that you can take action when the time is right. Each activity has it’s own set of frustrations that can be anticipated but by no means predicted. Let me illustrate. Surfing requires an understanding of the ocean (very similar to understanding the ebbs and flows of the market). The tide comes in and goes out. And during each tidal advance and retreat, individual waves come in various forms, height and power. Wave heights can be anywhere between knee high and triple overhead and you have to decide how much is too much for your skill and comfort level (read - position sizing). The wind blows onshore, offshore or doesn’t blow at all, which affects the ocean surface and the ease of positioning yourself in the lineup. Positioning yourself in just the right place for the next wave is crucial to picking up the wave. Notice I haven’t said anything yet about riding the wave. OK, you’re comfortable with the size of the waves. You’ve paddled out to where you perceive is the lineup and you’re in the right place (read - you’re waiting for the proper setup); you see a wave coming and you turn, paddle and feel the wave lifting and propelling you down it’s face (read - entry). Now you must determine which direction to ride (read – long or short). As you’re pulling yourself up to stand, turn and trim the board, you quickly determine whether or not this wave is even rideable. In spite of the perception that it looked rideable when you were paddling for it doesn’t guarantee that it will be rideable after you catch it (read – unknown news event). Once you’re up and riding, many waves close out without giving you much warning and you have to be ready to kick out at an instant (read – stop-loss exit). Other waves continue to lineup ahead of you and offer options to ride through the next section and continue the ride (read – adding to your position/pyramiding). You know that ultimately the wave will end either on the beach or close out along the way and you will have to kick out or get wiped out (read - you know you will have to exit before you take off). There is no guarantee that the wave will be fun or long lasting with a nice exit giving you that accomplished feeling of success (read - profitable).
If you’re always ready for the opportunity and stay in the moment. If you keep reacting to everything that comes your way. If you keep your options open and have defined objectives, are prepared to kick out at any instant when you realize there is no more hope of succeeding, you can escape and paddle out to do it again (read – preserve your capital).

A gigabyte

The world's first one gigabyte disk drive was announced in 1980. It weighed 550 pounds and had a price tag of $40,000. Heck, most people have that much memory in the cellphones now.

Video - 100 Iron Men

During the Open Championship at Royal Birkdale in 2008 this was a special segment about an art project this is pretty interesting.

Video - Extras - timezones

Ricky Gervais created Extras and here is a funny skit between his character and his character's agent.

Defined-Benefit Pension Plan underfundednes

S&P companies are underfunded by $250 billion in their defined-benefit pension plans. Late last year, the Bush administration waived the requirement that companies fund their pensions to at least 92% of needed capital. It is now down to 80%. This says nothing of the public sector pension plan underfunding . . . . gulp.

More on Your Own Bliss

Ten Steps to Your Own Bliss:
1 Decide what kind of day you want and what kind of feelings you want to have. Tell yourself, “I will make no decisions by myself.”
2 Be still and listen for the answer you get. The answer may come in any form – a voice, a picture, an external sign, or just a sense of knowingness. The answer is everywhere and you may find it anywhere.
3 If you have a problem, then the answer you get may not resolve the problem in the manner you wanted. As a result, have no investment in the answer to any question you ask. Accept the answer you get and be patient. All things will aid you in discovering the truth. Keep an open mind.
4 Periodically, throughout the day think about the kind of day you would like to experience. And then say to yourself, “If I make no decisions by myself, then this is the day that will be given to me.” If in doubt, just listen. Allow the day to flow.
5 If you are unwilling to be patient for an answer, then you have already judged for yourself. If so, then realize that you have asked a question by yourself and determined the answer in your own terms. The right answer is not forced upon you. Instead, it comes with a willingness to listen. If you are upset, it is because your perception is wrong. When you criticize what you see, your bliss pathway will become invisible.
6 Once again, remember the kind of day you want and recognize that something has now occurred which is not a part of it. As a result, just let your question go.
7 If you can’t let your question go, then you can at least begin to change your mind by saying the following: “At least I can decide that I do not like how I feel now.”
8 As a result, realize that your judgment may have been wrong. This will remind you that internal guidance is not being forced on you. Instead, it is something you need because you do not like the way you feel.
9 Until you reach this point, you will think that your happiness depends upon your being right. But now you can discern that you would be better off if you were wrong. As a result, you can say in perfect honesty, “I want another way to look at this.”
10 The final step is to acknowledge that you are not opposed to being helped and ask, “Perhaps there is another way to look at this. What can I lose by asking?” Listen with assurance. You must desire to change your perception of the world and be willing to see another way.

This ten step procedure was adapted from A Course in Miracles and from Lee Coit’s Listening. To learn more about listening to your inner voice, I recommend the tape program, Listening, Accepting Being, by Lee Coit click here for more of his work

Following your bliss

Following your bliss essentially means doing what you are committed to do. Remember what W.N. Murray said about commitment: “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would otherwise have never occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of foreseen assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.”

Unemployment Statistics

If you want to see the big picture on unemployment, check the U6 data here that's the one that more clearly describes total unemployment.

Batman and Robin quotes

Robin: "I guess you can never trust a woman."
Batman: "You've made a hasty generalization, Robin. It's a bad habit to get into."

Robin: "That's an impossible shot, Batman."
Batman: "That's a negative attitude, Robin."

Alfred Hitchcock's style

"My camera is absolute."

"I tell the story through that lens, so I need you to move when my camera moves, stop when my camera stops. I'm confident you'll be able to find your motivation to justify the motion. I'll be happy to work with you, but I will not change the timing of my camera."

"Either they wear the clothes and do the part the way I want or they're not going to be in it."

from Spellbound by Beauty by Donald Spoto

Video - The Boss was good but Prince was the best!

Many are saying the Springsteen's halftime show during Superbowl 43 was the best ever . . . . not. Check out Prince during the 2007 halftime in the rain and note that he didn't go overtime!

Video - The best catch ever

The touchdown catch to clinch Superbowl 43 was the best ever.

The passing of Lance McCollum

One of the finest luthiers I know has passed away very unexpectedly. Lance McCollum built some of the most amazing guitars. I own a Grand Auditorium that Lance built for himself many years ago and sold to me prior to the Healdsburg Guitar Festival in 2005. Click here to see his website.