Has Patenting Gone Crazy??

Have you ever used a laser pointer to drive your pet crazy? You may soon have your day in court because you infringed on Patent No. 5443036, "Method of Exercising a Cat," including "any other animals with the chase instinct."

And if you, after reading this, think you better go back to having your dog fetch a plain old stick, beware. There's a patent for that, too. (No. 6360693, "Animal Toy.")

Have you ever sat on a swing suspended from a tree branch, making yourself swing from side to side by alternately pulling on the chains? You're toast, according to the laws protecting Patent No. 6368227, "Method of Swinging on a Swing."

And speaking of toast: You may want to eat your bread unheated from now on, lest you may be found guilty of violating Patent No. 6080436, "Bread Refreshing Method."

In Australia, John Keogh, a freelance patent lawyer striving to expose the faulty system, managed in 2001 to patent a "Circular Transportation Facilitation Device," a.k.a. the wheel.

Patent laws were originally designed to protect truly innovative ideas from being stolen by others, granting the owner 20 years of exclusive rights to his invention. So far, so good.