The Bridge to Nowhere

Oh, you havne't heard about the Bridge to Nowhere?? Congress has approved $223 million to connect Gravina Island, Alaska with the "city" of Ketchikan. Ever been to Ketchikan, Alaska?? I have. It's one of the places that Charles Kerault (On the Road) would have returned to if he could have visited his 12 favorite places during his final year of life. It's a neat place to visit if you like a lot of rain in July (the driest month of the year) . Many cruise ships visit there and there's plenty of flight seeing into Misty Fjords National Park, but I don't think they need a bridge there

It will be nearly as long as the Golden Gate Bridge and 80 feet taller than the one in Brooklyn.

The beneficiaries of this undertaking? The good citizens of Ketchikan, of course, all 8,900 of them, not to mention the soon-to-be-liberated population of Gravina Island--at last count somewhere south of 50--for whom a half-hourly ferry is apparently insufficient. We must presume that the dire necessity for this bridge was not dire enough that the locals were willing to pledge, say, some bond money for it.

Government is rife with affronts like this to the public sensibility, but nowhere as much as in Alaska, which nailed down 67 pages worth of piggy fat in the Transportation Bill alone.

Our largest state (by a factor of more than 2 over Texas), and third-least populous (beating out Vermont and Wyoming in the 2000 census) is like a foreign country to most Americans. Remote, cold, overwhelmingly wilderness. Yet in Washington it is one very hot property indeed.

This is largely the result of the efforts of Ted Stevens, at 36 years and counting the longest-serving Republican in the U.S. Senate. He is affectionately known in his home state as "Uncle Ted," for his legendary ability to funnel federal dollars their way. CAGW has ranked Uncle Ted #1 every year since it began calculating lawmakers' proficiency at bringing home pork in 2000. So far in 2005, Stevens has helped ladle out more than $645 million or $984.85 for each Alaskan, the group says--tops in the country.